This past summer was much different then last summer. Last year, my summer began on May 17. I got the call on May 9 that I had been chosen and Riley’s original due date was May 21. I met with my principal and we decided my last day of school would be Friday May 17. There was still almost a month left of school but I did not finish the year with my kids. I spent one week getting my house as ready as it could be and then rushed off to North Carolina that Friday morning for the birth of my sweet boy. It ended up being a much more frantic departure and travel then I had hoped for, but I made it there safely and had him in my arms by 7:30 that night. My dad flew in the next day, and the three of us spent the next week in a hotel in North Carolina waiting for the call that we could come home.
I spent the rest of the summer bonding with my baby and adjusting to my new life as a mom. Even when I type those words “life as a mom”, my heart fills with joy… “Mom life” is something I have dreamed about forever! And believe me when I say it was a dream come true. But I would be lying if I said it was an easy first year. Riley was a very intense newborn. He had some tummy/temperament issues and I spent a lot of time trying to find ways to soothe and comfort him. There were many, many, (many, many, many) sleepless nights–and some equally challenging days where I felt like nothing I did was helping. I will never forget our second night in the hotel when he was only 4 days old. He woke up screaming and my dad and I both jumped out of bed. I tried to feed him and he kept screaming. He had already been changed so I knew it wasn’t that. I walked around the room rocking and shushing, bouncing and humming, and finally got him back to sleep. We actually went back to the hospital the next morning to visit our favorite nurse and ask for advice. She suggested a tummy wrap that I could warm in the microwave and wrap around his little tummy. I downloaded Dr. Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block calming white noise album to my phone, and we went to Walmart to get the same formula they used at the hospital and gas drops. These things worked a little, but nothing seemed to consistently work. I figured he was just getting adjusted to being out of the hospital and once we got home and into a routine, things would calm down.
Not much changed when we got home. He was not sleeping much and cried a lot. I ended up in tears many times myself and felt like I was failing my little guy. It seemed like his tummy may be the reason he was so upset–so I tried anything and everything suggested. I tried about 5 different formulas and finally decided to try a hypoallergenic one for babies with milk allergies and colic. It seemed to help a little so I stayed with it. I also took him to the doctor and the pediatrician looked at me and said, “That’s part of being an infant. It sounds like he could have reflux.” I am still convinced he gave me the prescription so I would stop emailing him. The medicine seemed to help a bit-but weren’t great. I spent hours and hours looking for ways to soothe him. I read Happiest Baby on the Block and did everything it said. I even purchased the special rocking crib that was supposed to help. He hated the car seat and the stroller, so those were no help either. We had two stability balls in the house and my brother would even stand in front of the fan on the stove in the kitchen. Needless to say, the first 8 months or so were rough. Don’t get me wrong–they were also filled with so much happiness and joy. I do not mean to make it sound like he cried all the time… He was just an intense baby and needed a lot of soothing. Nights were the hardest and like many new moms, I was exhausted. I remember people would tell me, “Don’t worry, it will get better at 4 months.” 4 months came and went and nothing changed… “Don’t worry–by 6 months, it will be better”… So I held on for 6 months…Not much change… It wasn’t until about 9-10 months that I can honestly say he was sleeping more peacefully and was not crying much at all. He was crawling all over the place and began to develop quite a little personality. By the time he turned 1 he started walking and has been on the move ever since!
Riley turned 15 months old last week, and is truly the happiest little boy! He has no allergies and no tummy issues at all. He loves to eat and is a great sleeper! He takes two solid naps a day and sleeps 11 hours a night! That little smile lights up the room and it fills my heart to see him so happy. I have always loved the belly laugh of a baby—but hearing the belly laugh of your own child is indescribable. I run for my classroom at lunchtime to see his little face on face time, and rush home as soon as I can each afternoon to scoop him up and dance around the room! The smiles, the giggles, the hugs, the kisses–and yes even those grumpy moments–this is what I waited for and it was truly worth the wait!!!!
A very good family friend sent this quote to me the night my sweet Riley was born. I had tears running down my face and onto the forehead of my sweet boy who was laying on my bare chest when I read the message. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, and had always envisioned that my child would grow inside of me. When I decided to adopt, I had no doubt in my mind that I would love this child with all my heart and soul… But there was a small little part of me that was so worried it would be harder to bond with my baby if he or she did not come from my womb. I remember sitting on the airplane feeling over the moon excited to meet my new baby–and still just couldn’t help but feel a little nervous as well. Questions continued to flood my brain as I made the long drive–and by this time I knew that a sweet baby boy was laying in that nursery. What if he cried when I held him? Would he look at me and see how much I loved him? Would I feel like his mom? Would we share the same bond that birth mothers have with their newborns? These are only a few of the many questions I asked myself over and over until I arrived.