It was about 10:35 a.m. on Tuesday May 9, 2017… I was teaching a Math lesson to my first graders and felt my phone going off in my pocket. I looked quick and since I didn’t recognize the number, I assumed it was a telemarketer and didn’t answer. It went to voicemail and the message was over a minute long. Again, I figured it was one of those recorded marketing calls and remember thinking how annoying they were. I usually would not even take the time to listen to the message and just hit delete, but for some reason, that morning, I walked towards my desk and listened to the voicemail. It was a social worker from the adoption agency telling me that I had been selected by a birth mother and could I please call her back as soon as possible. I stood there frozen and my eyes filled up with tears. My back was to my students and I knew I had to hold it together until lunchtime (still 90 minutes away). All I wanted to do was run around the room screaming and call my family. It was the call I had been waiting for—for what seemed like my whole life really.
Let me back up….
I am not going to lie, there were many times I had started to feel like I was never going to get chosen…I had started the process in 2014 and here I was 3 years later and still waiting… In January of 2017, I created my first vision board, and it was covered in pictures and quotes about motherhood, adoption, babies, patience, and hope. I turned 38 in April and all I could think was another year had passed and I was still not a mom. My brother and I also moved into a new house. Ironically, it is across the street from the one we were renting for the previous 2 years. The owners had taken a liking to us and approached us about moving in. They bought a house in the country and wanted to “help us kids” out. They offered to lower our rent significantly and told us to come by and see if we liked the house. The funny part was, even though I liked the house we were renting and our landlords, I never felt like it was the home I would raise my child in. The house was filled with hardwood floors, and it may sound silly, but I always imagined living in a house with carpeted floors. I imagined crawling around with my baby on the carpet, and being able to lay down to read or play together. Again, it probably stemmed from my own childhood memories, but it was a part of my vision and I could not let it go.
The moment I walked into the living room of this house—I felt a calming, loving, homey, feeling come all over me. There is carpet all through the front of the house and the bedrooms. The couple had lived here for over 50 years and raised a family of their own in the house. We said yes right away and moved in right after my birthday. This was at the end of April 2017. Less than 2 weeks later (on the Wednesday before Mother’s Day), I got the call. It felt almost surreal. The voicemail said, “Hi Shannon, this is (social worker) from (the agency I used). I am calling with wonderful news. You have been selected by a birth mother and the baby is due on May 21. Please call me as soon as you can”. Yes, you heard that right.. May 21, and it was now May 9. My heart was racing. Could this really be happening? And in such a short amount of time? So many questions, so many unknowns, and also so much excitement.
One of my biggest questions and fears was the timing. I had to renew the home study (which basically meant paying a fee and being re-fingerprinted) every year. The agency that had done my original home study with had gone bankrupt before my updated home study was completed. I had not rushed to to find a new agency because I truly had no idea I would get the call. As soon as the lunch bell rang, I was on the phone with the social worker. She explained that she was the social worker of the birth mother and would be working with us. The couple lived out of state, so I would need to talk with them on the phone later that day and make my decision rather quickly, given the baby was due in a few weeks. She also emailed me their medical histories and profiles so that I could read that over as well. I asked her about the home study, and she told me that it would need to be done quickly, but that as long as my home study was updated by the time I was bringing the baby home to California, it was ok. She referred me to an agency that she had worked with before who was familiar with expedited home study updates. I called them right away and started the process. I read through all the information given to me about the birth parents… and to be honest, there was almost nothing that I would have read that would have stopped me from saying YES. I just wanted to make sure I had all the legality stuff figured out on my side.
I came home that afternoon, and the call was scheduled to talk with the birth mom at 4 PM my time (she lived in North Carolina). I had no idea what to expect. The social worker gave me some tips on things to ask and talk about, but really said that I just needed to be myself and begin to build a relationship. I took a deep breath and dialed the number at 4:00. She did not answer at first and I was going nuts… Had she already changed her mind? My phone rang a few minutes later and it was her and the birth father (on speaker phone). We chatted for about 20 minutes. I told her what an honor it was to be chosen by her and the birth father and told her a lot about my journey, my life, and my family. They told me a little more about them and said they could not be happier with their choice. She told me that when she read my profile, she could see how much love I had to give and what an amazing family I had to support me. We hung up the phone, and I immediately called the social worker back to tell her “it was a MATCH”! My heart was exploding!!! So it was official, after 3 long years, I was entering Phase II.
WOW! Was there a lot to do!