Starting 2019 with Gratitude and Thanks

Today is the last day of 2018…. I am not one to make New Year’s Resolutions or promises that I am unsure I can keep. I think about the things I did well, and the things that could have gone better. I set goals and create my vision board for the upcoming year. But I do like to think back on the year and reflect on things that made me happy, sad, proud, and most of all the things that I am thankful for. It has been an emotional year with many ups and some very big downs. My sweet boy turned 19 months old the day after Christmas…. 2018 brought so many firsts—his first words (papa and momma), his first birthday (where we were surrounded by our closest family & friends), his first steps–which almost immediately turned into a run, his first trip to the zoo, his first time trying many new foods, and even our first trip to the emergency room (which turned out to be a GIANT overreaction by momma)! These are only a few of the many new and exciting things that Riley discovered over the last year. It is truly magical to watch his little mind take everything in and soak it all up! I am continually in awe of how much he develops and learns every day. Another highlight in 2018 was in April when Riley and I went to court to have our official adoption day in California! Although everything was final in North Carolina, there was a lot of paperwork and legalities that needed to be done in California as well. On April 20, everything was official and Riley was a Twomey forever! My family and best friends were there to share this special day with us. I have spent the last year trying to slow down and enjoy each minute, each milestone, each day as my baby grows quickly into a sweet little boy. He continues to bring joy and happiness wherever we go and his smile lights up an entire room. That smile really brought my family light and hope this year when things got a little tough. My grandfather, who we lovingly called Papa Joe, got very sick this year and spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital. Even when he was at home, he needed a lot of extra care and my amazing parents were the ones who provided this care. They juggled watching my sweet Riley every day, while at the same time taking my grandfather to appointments, picking up his prescriptions or groceries, visiting each day to make sure he took his medicine, and numerous late night trips to the ER. This was a lot on them both emotionally and physically. I would often offer to take a few days off or tell them how guilty I felt they were spending all of their time taking care of other people–and they would always assure me that Riley was the light in their life and it was helpful to be around him. We lost Papa Joe in late July as well as our cousin Patrick the very same night. Just before Thanksgiving, we lost another very special person in our lives. My godfather, Tom, lost his battle with cancer, and again, we were heartbroken. Tom (and his wife Nanny) was a very important part of my life, and was truly like family. Some of my favorite childhood memories are at their house, running up and down the hallways with one of their sons, or playing with the pots and pans in Nanny’s kitchen, or eating ravioli’s with Nanny’s homemade tomato sauce. We were so very sad to lose Tom and I am so thankful that he was able to attend Riley’s first birthday. It is at times like this when life really doesn’t make a lot of sense and doesn’t seem fair. It becomes harder to focus on the good things and smile when your heart is broken and the tears are falling. It was in those moments that I looked down at Riley’s sweet little face–and his smile looking up at me was all I needed to refocus my energy. It reminded me to live in the present and not waste one single moment with the people you love doing what you love most. It reminded me to count my blessings each and every day and tell the people in my life how much they mean to me. My grandfather, my cousin, and my godfather, lived their lives to the fullest and family meant everything to them. And though our lives will never be the same without them–I know their spirit will live on in each one of us. 2018 was also a year for a lot of personal and professional growth for me. With my first year of motherhood under my belt (and a baby that finally slept through the night), I felt like I was able to come up for air. I refocused my attention on my skincare business and grew my team. I started my blog, and even wrote the first draft of my first children’s book (still working on next steps). In the last few months, I have begun more personal development around self care and self love. I began reading audiobooks (Michelle Obama’s new book, Becoming, is my favorite), began practicing meditation & journaling again, as well as daily affirmations. I am an anxious person by nature and have always struggled with feeling like I am enough. Becoming a mom added a whole new dimension to this. I was now responsible for the health, happiness, and well-being of another person. I am constantly asking myself if I am doing what is best for my little guy and worrying about getting everything just right. Am I a perfect mom? Absolutely not. But I love that little boy more than anything and wake up each morning trying to be better than I was the day before! I take it one day at a time, and sometimes even just one hour at at time. I’ve also had to adjust my life as a teacher. I can no longer be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. I don’t have time to prep and lesson plan at home and on the weekends–I spend that time with my Riley. This was quite an adjustment and I spent a lot of 2018 questioning myself–am I doing enough for my students? Am I a perfect teacher? Absolutely not. But I truly love what I do and come in every day excited to learn and grow with my students. I learn from my colleagues and try to be better then I was the day before. Another HUGE adjustment for me as a mom, has been my fitness routine. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am an avid exerciser. Before becoming a mom, I was at the gym every morning at 5 before work, and outside running on the weekends. Even on vacation, I make sure to find a way to get in my workout. As I mentioned before, I get a lot of anxiety and exercise helps with that a lot. Over the past year, I had to adjust to a new way of life. My amazing mother (a common thread in my posts is my family who I am forever thankful for) sleeps over 2 nights a week and my brother is off on Fridays, so I get in my morning workout 3 days a week. My dad comes over every Sunday morning to hang with Riley so I can get in a run around the neighborhood. That gives me 4 solid workouts a week. And this may seem like a lot–but I was used to 6-7 days and it took some time to get used to. I mention it here because over the last few months, I have really began to look at exercise and fitness in a whole new way. It used to sometimes feel like a chore–something I took for granted…I did not consider it a true workout unless I was at the gym–sweating like crazy for 60 minutes. And now I love nothing more then to take a walk around the neighborhood with Riley when I get home from work… and appreciate that I can move my body and enjoy time with him at the same time. It may sound silly, but it has been a huge personal achievement for me…and I owe a lot of it to Riley. The common thread throughout my reflection of the last year, is my sweet boy. He has changed my life in ways I never imagined. The love I have for him is indescribable–he makes my heart whole. He teaches me to appreciate the little things in life. To live in the moment and not worry about what is going to happen next. So as I sit here on the last evening of 2018, I feel thankful…thankful for 2 jobs I love, my health, my friends, and most of all my sweet Riley and my amazing family. I feel excited to begin another year! I may not have all the answers, but I will go into 2019 with a positive mind and love in my heart!